Just Sit & Be.

Today was one of those strange Iowa winter warm days. It was sunny and 40 degrees even though it is January. Now I normally work long days and get to see the light of day very little which is fine, but that is what made today extra special. The mother I nanny for came home two hours early with the exact instructions for me to go enjoy the beautiful day. With extra time off it would have been easy to start on my never-ending to-do list, but I decided to take her advice.

So I spent time today sitting on the bank of a little creek. I took a few pictures and read a bit but most of my time was spent just sitting. And as I sat there I realized how little I do that – take time to just sit and be. No agenda. No timeline. I closed my eyes, basked in the light of the day and listened to the sound of the rushing water. I rested. I reflected.

A year ago I was in the most remote part of Botswana, and that month was the last time I was able to consistently just sit and be. It was a month without WiFi and without convenient access to anything other than the land I lived on. I miss the mornings just sitting, watching the sun over the delta. I miss the quiet. I miss the peace and rest.

But I cannot go back. I live in America for now and I have to be more intentional about making space for peace and rest in a fast-paced, driven culture. When I finally slow down I can hear God so much clearer and he reminds me of the things in life that are most important.

Remember what comes first – and keep it first. Be thankful – always. Find joy in the little things. Love others. Slow down & listen. Just sit & be.

So instead of New Year’s resolutions, these are my New Year’s reminders. Wherever you are, I pray you would experience the peace and rest amidst a crazy busy world. Just sit & be. 

"Be still & know that I am God."

[Psalm 46:10]

A Broken Heart

God is breaking my heart.

One of my favorite little Roma boys is smoking with older boys from his neighborhood. He is in 1st grade.

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The church in Corabia, a city twice the size of Draganesti, is barely surviving even though there is a passionate couple trying to sow seeds of Christ's love for years now.

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A young boy, the first in his family to attempt going to school has not been seen in class for over a week. Now he is found running around barefoot, in clothes that are never washed in a yard full of trash.

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A young Romanian woman is doing her best to provide for the social needs of the community, help at-risk children with homework, all while being a wife and a mother. She is trying to do it all but she is worn out and stretched thin.

In the last 3 weeks, these are just a few things I've witnessed and God is using them to break my heart more and more for these people and this place. It hurts. It hurts to see the brokenness and desperation. It hurts knowing how little I can do. It hurts knowing I will leave in less than two weeks.

But it is with a broken heart we are driven to action. It is the reason we turn to God in prayer. We realize we cannot do it without him. A broken heart is the reason we start programs such as After School to provide children with the opportunity to have a better education and ultimately better life. It is the reason we preach the gospel. Only the hope of Christ and the Holy Spirit can truly bring change in the lives of people. My broken heart is the reason I know I can leave my home and family to return to Romania.

It is with a broken heart we also become more like Jesus. He came to earth and had compassion on the lost and broken people. The origin of the word compassion is "to suffer with". It was His broken heart for the world that led Jesus to go to the cross and die for the sins of the world.

So while it hurts, I am thankful for the broken heart God has given me and I pray he continues to break my heart for what breaks His.

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"Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”

[Psalm 82:3-4]

Photo via asociatiasperanta.ro