Heart of the Missionary

 "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." [2 Chronicles 16:9]

When I first considered going back to Romania long term, my Romanian pastor Raul referenced this verse. He wanted to confirm that my heart was for the Lord and for Romania.

After four weeks of cross-cultural long-term missionary training, the heart remains the most important thing when it comes to being effective, no matter where we go. Training, knowledge and experience, while a good thing, are nothing without the right heart.

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Heart for Culture

God created unique cultures around the world. Every culture often represents God in its own way and when we experience different cultures we often walk away with a bigger picture of who God is. However, because we are so familiar with our own culture, it is easy to judge other cultures and the ways they do life. Therefore it is important to have a heart for culture - to die to our own culture and value what we can learn from other cultures.

Heart for People

This may seem obvious, but it is not as simple as we may want it to be. Most of us as Americans are task-oriented. We like to see results and accomplish big things. Again, being driven toward a certain goal is not a bad thing but majority of the world cultures value relationships over the task. We must be willing to lay down our go-go-go and do-do-do mentality in order to love people and build relationships.

Heart for your Team

You may have heard the African proverb "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." We were designed for community and to work together. Without a solid team it would be hard to be effective and even to survive in another culture for long. However, to have a solid team everyone must have a humble heart and listening ear. It is important to value and love your team.

Heart of the Gospel

It is easy to think "Those people or this country need the gospel so much!" but I heard this statement during the first week of training and it stuck: "You can never preach the gospel to someone who needs it more than you do." No matter how long we have been walking with God, we need the gospel every day. Even if I am going to be a missionary, I am still a broken sinful person. I fall into pride and idolatry. I make mistakes. But the heart of the gospel is God knew all this about me and he still loved me and he chose me. Now I have to daily walk in the truth that my acceptance, my identity and my satisfaction is found in God alone. As I remember the gospel each day, it is a reminder of the goal of the missionary as well: "For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake." [2 Corinthians 4:5] I have to daily humble myself in order that God would be glorified.

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I titled this heart of the missionary, but be reminded that we are all called to be missionaries where we are. I pray God would shape our hearts in humility to be more like Jesus each day.

Transition - and the Need for God

I finished my position as a nanny roughly a month ago and to be honest, it has been a struggle moving into this next phase of the journey. Ministry preparation is now my full-time job and it takes intentional focus and motivation. However, it is hard to be intentional, especially in ministry, when you try to do it alone. Without God's power and strength and without prayer and accountability it was to get stuck in a deep rut. Distractions, laziness, numbing, and isolation were quickly becoming my norm. I did not know how to move forward on my own and it was easier to quit trying.

But thankfully God does not expect us to get out of the ruts of life on our own. He has taught me a lot about how much I need Him and others, especially going into longer-term missions overseas. It was easy to believe the lie "I am alone" but the truth is God has provided me with individuals that love me and care about me if I am willing to be vulnerable and reach out. These individuals have been able to point me back to the ultimate source of life and strength - God himself. "The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." [Psalm 29:11]

And so, while the steps have been small, I am moving forward. I am spending more time talking to God and reading his Word. I am tackling one small task at a time. I am reaching out with more specific prayer requests. I am preparing for my training and I am actually excited for 4 weeks of intentional learning. I am reminding myself of the many beautiful people God has placed in my life both here and Romania.

The struggle is far from over. The enemy doesn't want me to be successful and will continue to do everything in his power to keep me off task. "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." [1 Peter 5:8]
But God is always victorious if only we continue to rely on him. "For the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory." [Deuteronomy 20:4]

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Update on the Journey:

• My four weeks of training at the Center for Intercultural Training (CIT) in North Carolina begin Sunday. This will be cross-cultural training and equipping. 
• Following training I will begin intentional ministry partner development - meeting with individuals to share my ministry vision and financial goals - in order to be ready to return to Romania in September.